5 Fantasy Football Players and Their Dating Comparisons
Dating can be tough. We spend countless hours researching potential partners, weighing our emotional connections with their strengths and flaws to determine who we want to continue to invest our time into. It’s stressful, it’s overwhelming, and no matter how much effort you put in, you are can never seem to find the right guy. Drafting your fantasy football team can be a similar experience. Fortunately, like the front cover of the latest issue of Cosmopolitan, let’s take something as complex as dating (or fantasy football) and reduce it into a simple list of 5 types of fantasy players you date.
The Strong Foundation Guy: Christian McCaffery
This is the type of guy you want to build your life (Or fantasy team) around. He’s got a great job with a hedge fund, a sleek loft apartment in Tribeca, goes to Equinox daily and has great relationship with his family. If you’re looking to strong foundation for yourself, you can’t do any worse than CMC. As the focal point of Kyle Shanahan’s offense, CMC led the league with a combined 272 carries and 83 targets last year. He was also the league leader in yards before contact with 886 yards. He has the track record of a proven workhorse back, plays all 3 downs, and is projected to get similar volume this year. A few areas of concern worth addressing, CMC actually had a pretty low break tackle rate (3.83%) and the 49ers offensive line is projected to take a step back. But with his projected volume in that offense, his floor is still very high. Don’t overthink this, you won’t find a more reliable player than McCaffery.
The Wildcard – De’Von Achane
Imagine the upside of the “Strong Foundation” type, only he parties a little too hard at times. You see all the potential that Achane presents, and if he puts it all together then it could be the best decision you ever made. But there’s also scenarios where it can go horribly wrong. From an efficiency standpoint, Achane was insane last year. He finished with 7.8 yards per carry and a break tackle rate of 10%. He’s an extremely explosive player, leading the lead in carries of at least 20 yards with 21 total. From week 3 to week 5, Achane had 455 yards rushing for 5 rushing touchdowns and 2 receiving touchdowns. But that was a 3-week sample size, after week 5 Achane got hurt and was not at the same production level once he returned from injury. From a talent perspective, he’s a tantalizing pick. But he’s a smaller back that is injury prone, and he is still projected to split touches with Mostert who had 1000 yards and 18 touchdowns last year and rookie Jaylen Wright. Achane was extremely productive with his limited touches last year, but in stacked Dolphins offense he’s a boom or bust player. The upside is there, but just be prepared emotionally week to week.
The Guy You Keep Taking Chances On – Drake London
It’s going to be different this year, trust me. Sure, things haven’t worked out between you two before. But he’s got a new job, new apartment, new haircut and now you’re talking yourself back into Drake London. You were too early on him, you just needed to give him time to work on himself before you commit. Drake London is currently being drafted as the WR12, despite finishing at WR37 and WR31 the two previous seasons. There’s a lot of reason to be optimistic: The Falcons hired a new coach, new offensive coordinator, and have a new quarterback. The offense should be revamped, and Drake London lead the team in targets last year with a 23.3% target share. Combine that with the impressive physical attributes London possesses, it makes sense that London is going as high as he is. The only hold up is that Drake London also hasn’t proven he can be a top tier fantasy player, and while much of that can be attributed to the sub-par quarterback play and play calling over the past two seasons it’s still risky to invest that high of a pick in a player that is unproven. But hey, sometimes you got to put yourself out there. You can’t let the fear of heartbreak stop you from finding love…..or winning a fantasy championship.
The Stop-Gap Guy – Rachaad White
If I asked you why you drafted Rachaad White, would your top reason be “He was available Heand I needed a Running Back”? Rachaad White is currently being drafted as RB14, and yet there’s not anything particularly impressive about him. He breaks tackles at an extremely low rate (3.31%), he only had 5 total rushes over 20 yards. He’s not explosive, but he gets volume. And look, maybe you’re at a point in your life where you just need stability. You’ve been burned too many times by players like De’Von Achane, and you just need someone who’s there. The problem is that without the upside, it can be easy to develop a wandering eye. You’re one 2 TD weekend from Jaylen Warren from spiraling into full regret mode.
The Ex That Comes Back Into Your Life – Cooper Kupp
Remember 2021? You were young, Cooper Kupp was winning the triple crown, and things couldn’t be going better. You thought to yourself, “Did I find the perfect WR1?”. But then injuries started to pile up, and the magic started to slip away. You tried to hold on, but eventually you had to break it off because you couldn’t trust him. There were other more reliable WR1 out there, and it seemed like another young star named Puka Nacua was rising on his own team. It was a good run, but you had to let go. Now it’s 2024, and you receive a late night DM from Cooper Kupp. It says things like “In the 12 games both Nacua and Kupp played in, targets were 102 to 95 respectively.” And “Kupp had more redzone targets (18) than Nacua (16) despite playing 5 less games.” You’re starting to talk yourself back into Cooper Kupp, and maybe it won’t be the same as 2021 with Nacua in the mix. But Nacua is currently dealing with his own knee injury, and it seems like things are lining up for bounce-back season for Cooper Kupp.
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